A message from a teenager with cancer
This week started with an email coming through with a poem from a teenage girl in the States with cancer.  She had six months left to live and her poem reminded me so much of the messages we hear from the women and men who have joined Sweet Louise.  You will know what I mean when you read the poem below …

SLOW DANCE
Have you ever watched kids on a merry-go-round? Or listened to the rain slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterly’s erratic flight?  Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down.  Don’t dance so fast.  Time is short.  The music won’t last.

Do you run through each day on the fly?  When you ‘How are you’, do you hear the reply?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores runing through your head?

You’d better slow down.  Don’t dance so fast.  Time is short.  The music won’t last.

Ever told your child, we’ll do it tomorrow? And in your haste, not seen his sorrow?

Ever lost touch, let a good friendship die?  Cause you never had time to call and say, ‘Hi’

You’d better slow down.  Don’t dance so fast.  Time is short. The music won’t last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere, you miss half the fun of getting there

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift … thrown away.

Life is not a race.  Do take it slower.  Hear the music before the song is over. 

This young girl wanted her poem circulated to as many people as possible to remind them to slow down, enjoy life  and seize the day.  A friend told me that she has this stored in her task list and gets it to pop up every month because it is easy to say at the time “yes, I must” and then continue rushing about a few days later.  So having said all of this, my daughters want me to go and watch X Factor with them and I said I would so watch I will.  Be nice just to cuddle up with them on the couch and enjoy the now (not the programme!!!).

A big thank-you to the young lady who penned this poem for sharing her reminder of what life is all about.

2012 – Year of the Dragon
This is my 2nd day back my desk for 2012 and the sun is endeavouring to do what it hasn’t done for most of the North Island holidays – appear!   Someone once told me that holidays have no residual value – once you are back, you are back but I don’t think that is true … just imagine if we didn’t have them.  The weather these holidays was no deterrent and we managed to complete 5  jigsaw puzzles and spend time at the beach every day, no matter the weather.   I started the New Year with the philosophy of so many Sweet Louise women and men … make the most of every day, especially with family and friends.

And this year is a very important year in the Chinese calendar being the Year of the Dragon.  If I wasn’t past my child-bearing days, this would be a good year to have a baby.  Legend has it that in ancient times, Buddha asked all the animals to meet him on Chinese New Year. Twelve came, and Buddha named a year after each one. He announced that the people born in each animal’s year would have some of that animal’s personality. Those born in dragon years are innovative, brave, and passionate.    In our household, we have two fire horses, a dragon and a sheep – a great mixture with lots of spark and sometimes, fireworks!

Whatever year you were born in, I think being innovative, brave and passionate are all things that we can aspire to be and I intend to be all three of those in one way or another throughout 2012 and beyond!   Happy New Year everyone.

People are amazing …
The last couple of weeks have been incredible and my summary is that people are amazing.   We launched the ‘Oysters for Lunch’ book and 5 of the women who wrote the stories and poems did a public reading at our Christmas Carols event.  Our writers are pictured here with their books.

I can’t even begin to describe the depth of emotion that was felt by all and the women who read did so with a real determination and a courage to tell their story.  I’m not quite sure amazing is the right word but the 5 women and all of the women who contributed their stories and poems are a true inspiration for us.  The stories came with a variety of themes and were told through tears and laughter but one message is very clear – life is to be embraced, lived to the fullest and always, always make sure you cherish the times with your loved ones.  The level of support from all the guests at the event and friends and families of the contributing Sweet Louise authors was felt in so many ways and trying to find a way to thank all who attended and the women for sharing their stories was nearly impossible … once again, tears and laughter dominated thethank yous. 

And so … in the same week … I was lucky enough to go to the ICAP Charity Global Day which was held at their offices in Wellington.  Each year, all around the world, ICAP donates all of their revenue and commissions from the day to charity.  Why is this amazing?  Well, it’s amazing for the fact that their day of revenue is a very significant sum and in that mix is all of their wages for the day but more so, that the spirit and effort of the team on the day is just incredible.   

And who are ICAP?  Well, I have to use their terminology to describe them as I’m not sure I’d do them justice in layman’s terms – ICAP is the world’s leading interdealer broker and provider of post trade risk and information services.  Even though I’ve been there a couple of times now, I couldn’t tell you what all the figures on the ten screens they have open mean or anything about the jargon they use but I can tell you there’s a couple of times in the day when the trading is at fever pitch and if I ever wanted a good yell, ICAP at 10.30am and 4.30pm is the place to do it! 

Richard Peterson heads up ICAP New Zealand and Richard is one of those people you meet who get a very genuine feeling of caring and empathy from.  Right from the word get-go, the team at ICAP do everything possible to bring the dollars in on charity day.  They all don fancy dress and this year, the All Blacks, Star Wars and the Mafia were the fancy dress themes – complete with a real mccoy All Black, Christian Cullen who popped in to help on the day.  I was given the unfortunate job of picking the winning team of the fancy dress and had to go with the Mafia – a. because they looked sharp and b. because I didn’t want to leave in concrete shoes.  Overall, all of the guys from ICAP (Vanessa and Megan weren’t there on the day) are such an impressive bunch and were just so pleased that their contribution from the day went towards making a significant difference in the lives of others. 

Here’s to next week and in the lead-up to Christmas, I am positive there were be a few more amazing people stories to share!

One of the questions we get asked …

… I was thinking the other day about one of the questions we often get asked at Sweet Louise – the question of  “how can I be most helpful to the husbands, wives, partners and families of someone who has passed away.”  It’s definitely one of those questions that has no definitive answer and certainly not a ‘one size fits all ‘ but I can reflect on some of the things that we have heard.

I think one of the biggies is “don’t be afraid to ask how you can help”.   People do like flowers but can be inundated and you would be surprised at the number of practical ways in which you can help partners and families at times like these.   Examples of practical support may come in the form of:

- taking around some meals for the freezer
- baking for the family
- doing some general household chores that might have gone by the wayside
- taking the kids to sports practise or helping with their homework
- offering to walk the dog and tend the animals
- help with the supermarket shopping or getting some provisions in
- sewing, mending, washing, ironing
- maintenance jobs around the house.

We also hear about some of the friendship support that can make a difference ….
-  offer your phone number as a 24 hour, call when needed
- send unexpected cards, letters, notes of support 
- ask if a weekly coffee outing would be helpful
- schedule a regular dinner invitation (dinner is great and so is the conversation time)

The important thing is to ask what you can do to help – people will soon let you know the level of support and help they would like.  This will change and evolve as time goes by and will vary from person to person but making the offer and responding in a relevant way can make a big difference in the lives of people you care about.

Oysters for lunch, breakfast and dinner!
Hi – Sue here with my first entry on the Sweet Louise blog and it wasn’t a difficult choice to write about something that has left an indelible footprint on my heart.  The incredible stories that are being launched in the ‘Oysters for Lunch’ book left me thinking, “What, only oysters for lunch,  what about for breakfast and dinner too?”  The authors are women with secondary breast cancer and they don’t find it hard to articulate what’s truly important in life, what really matters in the long run.  One of the women I spoke to said that she used to spend far too much time sweating the small stuff and constantly worrying about what others thought – now she takes each moment for what it is and if it’s not important, it doesn’t factor into her life equation.  This book holds a whole lot of home truths about life in general and, for me personally, I will read and re-read these stories as inspiration for what truly matters every moment, every day, every week, every year and throughout your life.  Thank you to all the amazing women that shared their lives with us.

Meet Sweet Louise CEO Sue Brewster
Sue joined Sweet Louise in May 2010, bringing with her five years of experience in the not-for-profit sector.  She undertook her first community-based role as General Manager of Altzheimer’s Auckland in 2006 and there has been no looking back!

“It is an honour and a privilege to work for an organisation that can make such a positive difference in the lives of New Zealand women and men living with an incurable cancer,” says Sue.